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Disclaimers

  • Batteries not included.
  • One size fits all.
  • Some assembly required.
  • Do not use Susie on a Stick while operating heavy machinery.
  • Por favor manténgase alejado de las puertas.
  • Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
  • Your cancelled check is your receipt.
  • Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
  • Inform your doctor of any other medical conditions.
  • Use only as directed.
  • Professional driver. Closed course.
  • Some restrictions apply.
  • For office use only.
  • No other warranty of any kind is expressed or implied.
  • You must be present to win.
  • Many suitcases look alike.
  • Parental guidance suggested.
  • Unleaded fuel only.
  • Edited for television.
  • Your mileage may vary.
  • Susie on a Stick may become slippery when wet.
  • Apply only to affected area.
  • Objects (on a stick) in mirror may be larger than they appear.
  • (are you still reading this?)
  • All models over 18 years of age.
  • Could present a choking hazard for small children.
  • Employees and their families are not eligible.
  • Beware of dog.
  • Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform as directed.
  • Do not write below this line.
  • As with all medications, consult your physician before use.
  • Do not lick Susie on a Stick.
  • As seen on TV.
  • For off-road use only.
  • Do attempt to use Susie on a Stick during inclement weather.
  • Falling rock.
  • No purchase necessary.
  • Approved for veterans.
  • First pull up, then pull down.
  • This supersedes all previous notices.
  • If condition persists, consult your physician.
  • Use only in well-ventilated area.
  • Maximum weight: 2500 pounds.
  • Keep away from fire or flame.
  • You must be this tall to ride.
  • No solicitors.
  • Driver does not carry cash.
  • Void where prohibited.
  • Store in a cool, dry place.
  • Bridges freeze before road.
  • Spot-test in small area before fully applying.
  • Freshest if used before date stamped on carton.
  • Contents under pressure.
  • (almost finished…)
  • Keep your hands and feed inside the vehicle at all times.
  • Subject to approval.
  • May be too intense for some viewers.
  • Do not disturb.
  • No serviceable parts inside.
  • Subject to change without notice.
  • This web site and its owners are not responsible for any legal fees, fines, bar tabs or any other expenses incurred as a result of the use of Susie on a Stick.
  • In case of emergency, break glass.
(If you can think of another disclaimer that needs to be on this page, let me know!)